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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Sliding soap. Bombs Away.

Every so often, my mother has an experience to share regarding my business, soap....whatever and writes a little short story.  This one was from last weekend and not so much regarding anything business related other than the horror I found under her sink.
the tragedy of body detergent.  Yes, this is what I found.

A story about my daughter, a sweet freak

I don't know if I ever brought this up in any of my stories, but Joanna and her husband and children all regularly go through my pantry and medicine cabinet pointing out and tossing those things that have expired.  Even Nina's friends have been heard to say "this is expired."  This is rather embarrassing, humiliating and obnoxious on their part, but I take a deep breath, being the good sport that I am and put up with their nonsense.

However, Joanna went too far this week end. Too much coffee or something.  She was sitting on the floor of my bathroom with the cabinet wide open pulling everything out and throwing everything into the garbage pail.  I should have known I was in trouble right then and there.  Suddenly she began yelling "bombs away" and slid the first bar of Irish Spring soap down the long hall until it went under my bed.  Then the second bar, the third bar and 16 bars later (all under my bed) with my grandson, Desmond bent over laughing.  She was done.  I couldn't even speak. 

I said "you come from very good breeding.  Your father was a college professor, your mother a psychotherapist, and you're a freak.  
"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Ma." 
My daughter the diplomat.

When I found a jumbo box of Irish Spring under my mother's bathroom sink (you know the kind you can get at Costco or Sam's Club bulk stores) I was semi-mortified.  Semi, you ask?  Well, I do periodically find 20 year old aspirin or a box of cotton balls, where the box looks almost vintage, so I kind of figured that the soap must have been bought from before I started making soap.  I just want to mention that my mother keeps an incredibly clean house and everything is immaculate, so I don't want to paint a picture of my mom having vintage cotton ball boxes and 20 year old aspirin in a dingy water stained, hoarder-like household.  Not even close to reality.  My house will never reach the cleanliness state that hers has been like since I left for college.  That is, unless I have a cleaning service - which I sadly don't.

I digress.

So... the soap scenario was fun.  My son (11 years old) was 20 feet away, at least and I am sitting on the floor, sliding each boxed bar of Irish Spring down this long, perfect-brand-new-and-double-shiny wood floors and would slide right by my mother (who's face looked stunned), went under her bed and my son would laugh and pick it up from the other side.   We all laughed so hard, except, I had to explain that if I ever find another commercial soap box in the house, I may have to be more extreme with my sliding measures.



Joan said...

Love both the stories...a duo of great writers! I know if my children looked in my bathroom cupboards, they wouldn't ever find commercial soap, but I bet there is a box of vintage cotton balls some where hidden.

Tanya @ Lovely Greens said...

Irish Spring...I can't think of anything worse to bathe with! You might as well be using industrial de-greaser!

Karyn said...

I know how you feel, Di. Once she found a bar of DOve in my house. I can't even talk about it!

Nichole said...

Hi, I found your blog through Lovin Soap's Blog List. This story is too funny! I will confess I think I have some commercial soaps hiding under my sink from before I started making soap. I guess I need to donate them to a shelter along with some of my bars!

Slightly Askew Studios said...

I know exactly what you mean, whenever I see commercial soap in a family or friends house I tell them they are cheating on me.

mint_pudina said...

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Ma."
utterly hilarious! =)

Anonymous said...

my sweet girl can throw as many products out as she wants because she is the best. Her Mom

Donna OShaughnessy said...

Oh how you've made me miss my mom ! She was only 67 and I was 39 when she died, just starting to be able to enjoy each other. On the flip side (I'm now 52) I must remember to be more gracious when my daughter (31) teases me. Life. What a crazy circle.

Maleficent Megtron said...

Lol, adorable story! I've been known to do the same to friends and family with the typical horrified "do you know what's in this stuff?!"

prevent fungal skin infection said...

Its amazing story, I inspired by these stories. It gives new idea to work on business.

twobloomsdesignstudio said...

What a hoot, I love this story.


Cocobong Soaps said...

Whats wrong with Irish Spring?

The Soap Sister said...

"Mahnly, yes -but oy like it too!" Remember THAT commercial?? Ooops! Showin' me age there, Lassie!

Joanna Schmidt said...

Joan: I'll be coming over to YOUR house next ;)

Tanya: ohg, fersure!

Karyn: I know, I put you on the spot, but I have to say, having Thanksgiving with you and enjoying your lovely bathroom, I did see, FOUR Crush On You scrubs and three of our soaps. You rule, lovely!

Nichole: What a nice thing to do.

Slightly Askew: I feel the same exact way! Now if it were other soapmakers, I don't feel like that.... mostly ;)

mint_pudina: true! ")

Anon: Hi Mama! (wave)

Donna: You are lovely....

Meg: so true.

cocobong: What's wrong with Irish Spring? You are a funny, FUNNY girl, toots!

Joanna Schmidt said...

prevent: glad to inspire ;)

2 blooms: :D

Soap Sister: I think we're the same age. Of course I remember (all too well, too!)

Washpool Farm said...

My soap partner decided to pull out due to family commitments. Recently though, my middle daughter when to her house for a sleep over. She came home and said "Mum, can you believe they had COMMERCIAL soap in their rack'. She said it in a tone like she'd been asked to wash with doggie doo.

Butt Whitening said...

i like how the title goes...

bar sinks said...

I love this story!